Rewinding Time with Shingika Virmani

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Crazy to fall in Love...!

Why all movie makers gives so much of importance to love. Pick any Bollywood movie it will have a romantic song. Romance is something which is an illusion, it is what we dream to be or become. People are actually crazy to fall in love these. If somebody is trying to help....Oh! God he must be in love with me. Screw it guys... open ur eyes.... there's no such thing called love.... only thing which is true is what is the need of the hour....i m stuck in a particular situation i will call somebody for help...that's the need of the hour,,, but if the other person is taking it in a wrong direction then he is definitely crazy...!

Why people get confused...Because there is a battle between ur heart and ur mind. Ur heart says this is right...do this he will be happy. Mind says don't do this coz at the end you will be hurt. We make our mind so many times that this time he calls I am not gonna pick up his call, but as soon as his call comes up every thought, every promise we made to ourselves goes to the well. Be practical, nothing is consistent, if u r single one day u will be committed and if u r committed one day u will be married. Stop dragging the things, stop fighting, our lives doesn't depend on a particular person. Be around ur friends who loves the way u r....Love is there, Surely but not in some particular guy or a gal... its all around u. Ur parents, ur friends, ur loved ones, but just don't waste ur life around someone who does'nt care about u. Keep Living, Keep Loving the right people.

Reclaim your Life: How to get over a relationship!

They have ended for whatever reasons, but sometimes, there is that one person, no matter how hard one tries, that one cannot get over. How does one get over that one person, who will never be yours, (for whatever reasons) and then move on? Here is a five step plan which if followed is very likely to help.

1. Acceptance

The first would be to ask oneself if one really wants to move on. Have you accepted that this person and you are never going to have a relationship and you cannot even be friends? Have you decided that you truly want to get over them and move on with your life?

2. Axe the sentimentalism

If so, then one has to be ruthless, hard-hearted and determined. Remember, you are trying to reclaim your life. You do not want to keep checking out their photos on social networking sites. So block that person and delete all the old mails, chats, texts and any reminders of the past. The more you hold on to them, the harder it will be to get over the person.

3. Distract yourself

The moment you find your mind wandering to their thoughts and what they used to say, do and sound like, distract yourself quickly. Show a red light to your mind and ask it to STOP. Hit the gym, go for a walk, do something, but don’t think about that person.

4. Remind yourself that you are loved

Just because that person does not love you, it does not mean you are worthless and your life is going nowhere. Remind yourself of the people who love you—your best friends, your family. Spend more time with them and surround yourself with them. If you have had relationships before, then think of how you overcame them. If you did it once, you can surely do it again.
Also remember that there are new people waiting to enter your life. Just like we need to get rid of clutter to physically make space for something on a shelf, so too we need to clear out our minds, sometimes.

5. Drown yourself in a hobby or a passion

One is spoilt for choices when it comes to recreation these days. Take up your once forgotten hobby. Join a dance class. Go Para-sailing if that is what makes you happy. Do not wallow, trying to figure out why that person does not want you. Remind yourself that you are truly worth more than clinging to somebody who does not care in the same manner you do.

It may be hard to follow the above initially. But steel yourself and do not waver. Before you know it, you would have reclaimed your life.

All the best!

Whom to blame??

No electricity! No internet! How to work! Deadline tomorrow! What to do? These are just small issues I come across everyday. Calling MTNL wala bhaiya and yelling at what kind of internet services you provide. Ah!! I feel much better. I have blamed somebody. Sitting and thinking afterwards, Was it worth blaming him and almost giving my brain and body and invitation for Blood Pressure. I don’t think so! I am sure everybody must have done a small or rather big mistakes in there lives and after committing one they need someone to blame on. Even AKON was fed up of his life and narrated it in a song ‘ You can put that blame on me’ Lolsss…Jokes apart! Blaming someone is a psychological thing which gives your brain a temporary satisfaction that you are right and the other person is wrong. Blame Game has been one of the best policy to escape a situation and not getting into a serious troubles. But trust me criticism and insult is better than the fear of being criticised or insulted. I escaped million times from billion of situations blaming others that they never understood me. Maybe with an intention to hide out my feelings and mistakes, I sometimes blame other people, but when I do that my conscious is hurt. And it hurts the most when people backfire you with the same blame game. Goofing up so many friendships and flings and blaming either the person or the situation I have realized that putting a curtain on your deeds and accepting the fate as it is, is not a brave thing to do! Being strong and brave is not about suppression of emotions, it’s about clarity. Sit down with the person you once blamed and clear things out…. And see that you both will end up blaming the time and the situation. But one thing is for sure while sitting and clearing things you will laugh about the earlier blames. If you haven’t been enlightened by this post then you can surely, “ Put that blame on me”…..

Put down a priority list!

I am sure that everybody must have gone through a phase where you must have thought 'I am all alone....everybody is doing so well.... where am I....what an I doing...!!' Encountered this recently, when my faculty from my masters class asked me why I took admission in Journalism and why I want to do this course. Where everybody answered I want to be this and that... and my mind was blank... Where do I see myself after 10 years...? I wondered 'oh! shit...I don't know why am I here... After not attending millions of lecture, which I felt was boring and unnecessary I thought spending time with a friend actually became the priority of all'.

After messing around my life....doing stuff which even I am guilty of I thought Will this time Come back?, then why not let's set priorities... Another messed up issue to sort!!

Studies? Parents? Career? Love? Friends? Big words and still don't know where to put them on my priority list. since childhood Maa telling me, 'Beta! one day you will find your love and will get married' So is love a priority? Dad telling me, 'Beta! You have to make me proud and I know you will do it'. So much of confidence in me? EXPECTATIONS!! I will dad... I will... Studies and career are my priorities. Again confused...Parents, Love, studies, career blah.. blah!! Oh My god! It was a bad idea to even make a priority list. Experimenting and putting all my hearts and sinking in my master’s class and studying, but again failed as somebody complimented me for my eyes and then I thought 'He is the one! The love of my life!! But i will be honest here my priority suddenly changed. After a month I realised, that people actually compliments you to mend their own ways! Saying and doing stuffs under the warm blanket of friendship! Nobody is honest. When I thought I am being one, then people thought I am faking it up as the did initially. So why be honest!

Just simply prioritise youself! Whom to talk, whom to be with, whom to share things with, whom to trust and try to indulge in yourself as that will give strength to walk happily through the beach side of life. All the best with your Priority List.

Identify Your Relatonship

Do you love your friend?... or your friend is the one you love???

In your life you come across so many people, some are strangers, some of them become friends and some more than that. So you categorize people and set up a process of thinking. For some you might think from your mind(professionally), for some you might think from your heart and some even with yourself... LOVE and FRIENDSHIP are two such terms which people often trust them easily and also loose trust in them easily. If you meet a stranger more than 2-3 times. you wll call him or her your friend and after 10-12 meeting maybe your lover.....There are people in this world who trust people fast and tend to loose their trust and faith n them as fast as they tend to fall for them. So one thing you should always keep in mind... fall slowly, understand slowly and then you will rise and shine in their love or friendship. Though, I used Love and Friendship at the same time that doesn't mean that they are synonyms. They both are two different terms. For every individual, its meaning is different but for me they both requires faith, believe and trust. There is a very thin lne between love and friendship, which needs to be maintained strictly.

Sometimes loosing a love is easy to deal rather loosing your friends. For Love you think from your heart, you care from your heat and you make emotional mistakes from heart, and you don't think....I think that is the reason why it is said so that LOVE IS BLIND and it will surely turn you deaf and dumb....For friendship you think from your heart and you take decisions from your mind keeping in mind the emotional status of your heart....So if you loose a friend it is hard to forget on the other hand loosing a lover is just an emotional imbalance one goes through. n this, there is another category of people who are called FRIENDLY LOVERS who at initial stage are friends, then lover and at last you tend to loose your friend as well as your lover. So it is wise to make certain boundaries or limitations in your heart and mind on who is who..... whether he/she is your friend or your lover?

"Love is a sweetest feeling n anyone's life friendship make every feeling sweet... but never destroy your friendship because of your love" --- Quoted by a friend

"Love is unconditional and friendship never minds conditions"---Quoted by a friend

Practicality Wins All Stakes

Again after an investing a hell lot of time on thinking and talking around people about this potential conversation and applying practicality into life and I have given up on love now.....yeah it will sound a bit awkward.. but trust me in my 20 years of life I have so many instances and experiences which tells me if I would have been a practical person i would'nt have gone through that "emotional attayachar".... take life easily calmly and peacefully it will treat you that way... u treat it quick and instant it will give u instant and quick reaction which becomes a little difficult to grasp it.....so take it slow and steady..... where the love matter is concerned... the picture about love in my mind has changed.... love is more likely to be a habit or need or being together or liking each others company..... till the time you don't show your emotional side to anyone its fine they will say ... "Hey u r fun to be with"... once you start relying on them u start sharing your feelings with them they are bound towards you to always give you a shoulder to cry on.... then the biggest issues of break up comes up EXPECTATION and believe me once this term has entered into your relationship you are screwed....Being Friends initially is nice... fun.. but again a habit of it tends you or the other person to fall.... but that does'nt mean that you have to say LOVE U... you can manage with that I like spending time with u..... So give it a practical thought and also don't serve your emotions in a tray to somebody who does'nt even care about it..... take a wise decision a practical one and then take a step ahead.... Why after love people think of spending lie together? I always wonder...... god has made so many beautiful people around and you and just want to stick to one...... appreciate beauty and think and live practically trust me life will be easy as well as easy to deal with... LOVE....