Reclaim your Life: How to get over a relationship!

They have ended for whatever reasons, but sometimes, there is that one person, no matter how hard one tries, that one cannot get over. How does one get over that one person, who will never be yours, (for whatever reasons) and then move on? Here is a five step plan which if followed is very likely to help.

1. Acceptance

The first would be to ask oneself if one really wants to move on. Have you accepted that this person and you are never going to have a relationship and you cannot even be friends? Have you decided that you truly want to get over them and move on with your life?

2. Axe the sentimentalism

If so, then one has to be ruthless, hard-hearted and determined. Remember, you are trying to reclaim your life. You do not want to keep checking out their photos on social networking sites. So block that person and delete all the old mails, chats, texts and any reminders of the past. The more you hold on to them, the harder it will be to get over the person.

3. Distract yourself

The moment you find your mind wandering to their thoughts and what they used to say, do and sound like, distract yourself quickly. Show a red light to your mind and ask it to STOP. Hit the gym, go for a walk, do something, but don’t think about that person.

4. Remind yourself that you are loved

Just because that person does not love you, it does not mean you are worthless and your life is going nowhere. Remind yourself of the people who love you—your best friends, your family. Spend more time with them and surround yourself with them. If you have had relationships before, then think of how you overcame them. If you did it once, you can surely do it again.
Also remember that there are new people waiting to enter your life. Just like we need to get rid of clutter to physically make space for something on a shelf, so too we need to clear out our minds, sometimes.

5. Drown yourself in a hobby or a passion

One is spoilt for choices when it comes to recreation these days. Take up your once forgotten hobby. Join a dance class. Go Para-sailing if that is what makes you happy. Do not wallow, trying to figure out why that person does not want you. Remind yourself that you are truly worth more than clinging to somebody who does not care in the same manner you do.

It may be hard to follow the above initially. But steel yourself and do not waver. Before you know it, you would have reclaimed your life.

All the best!

Whom to blame??

No electricity! No internet! How to work! Deadline tomorrow! What to do? These are just small issues I come across everyday. Calling MTNL wala bhaiya and yelling at what kind of internet services you provide. Ah!! I feel much better. I have blamed somebody. Sitting and thinking afterwards, Was it worth blaming him and almost giving my brain and body and invitation for Blood Pressure. I don’t think so! I am sure everybody must have done a small or rather big mistakes in there lives and after committing one they need someone to blame on. Even AKON was fed up of his life and narrated it in a song ‘ You can put that blame on me’ Lolsss…Jokes apart! Blaming someone is a psychological thing which gives your brain a temporary satisfaction that you are right and the other person is wrong. Blame Game has been one of the best policy to escape a situation and not getting into a serious troubles. But trust me criticism and insult is better than the fear of being criticised or insulted. I escaped million times from billion of situations blaming others that they never understood me. Maybe with an intention to hide out my feelings and mistakes, I sometimes blame other people, but when I do that my conscious is hurt. And it hurts the most when people backfire you with the same blame game. Goofing up so many friendships and flings and blaming either the person or the situation I have realized that putting a curtain on your deeds and accepting the fate as it is, is not a brave thing to do! Being strong and brave is not about suppression of emotions, it’s about clarity. Sit down with the person you once blamed and clear things out…. And see that you both will end up blaming the time and the situation. But one thing is for sure while sitting and clearing things you will laugh about the earlier blames. If you haven’t been enlightened by this post then you can surely, “ Put that blame on me”…..

Put down a priority list!

I am sure that everybody must have gone through a phase where you must have thought 'I am all alone....everybody is doing so well.... where am I....what an I doing...!!' Encountered this recently, when my faculty from my masters class asked me why I took admission in Journalism and why I want to do this course. Where everybody answered I want to be this and that... and my mind was blank... Where do I see myself after 10 years...? I wondered 'oh! shit...I don't know why am I here... After not attending millions of lecture, which I felt was boring and unnecessary I thought spending time with a friend actually became the priority of all'.

After messing around my life....doing stuff which even I am guilty of I thought Will this time Come back?, then why not let's set priorities... Another messed up issue to sort!!

Studies? Parents? Career? Love? Friends? Big words and still don't know where to put them on my priority list. since childhood Maa telling me, 'Beta! one day you will find your love and will get married' So is love a priority? Dad telling me, 'Beta! You have to make me proud and I know you will do it'. So much of confidence in me? EXPECTATIONS!! I will dad... I will... Studies and career are my priorities. Again confused...Parents, Love, studies, career blah.. blah!! Oh My god! It was a bad idea to even make a priority list. Experimenting and putting all my hearts and sinking in my master’s class and studying, but again failed as somebody complimented me for my eyes and then I thought 'He is the one! The love of my life!! But i will be honest here my priority suddenly changed. After a month I realised, that people actually compliments you to mend their own ways! Saying and doing stuffs under the warm blanket of friendship! Nobody is honest. When I thought I am being one, then people thought I am faking it up as the did initially. So why be honest!

Just simply prioritise youself! Whom to talk, whom to be with, whom to share things with, whom to trust and try to indulge in yourself as that will give strength to walk happily through the beach side of life. All the best with your Priority List.

Identify Your Relatonship

Do you love your friend?... or your friend is the one you love???

In your life you come across so many people, some are strangers, some of them become friends and some more than that. So you categorize people and set up a process of thinking. For some you might think from your mind(professionally), for some you might think from your heart and some even with yourself... LOVE and FRIENDSHIP are two such terms which people often trust them easily and also loose trust in them easily. If you meet a stranger more than 2-3 times. you wll call him or her your friend and after 10-12 meeting maybe your lover.....There are people in this world who trust people fast and tend to loose their trust and faith n them as fast as they tend to fall for them. So one thing you should always keep in mind... fall slowly, understand slowly and then you will rise and shine in their love or friendship. Though, I used Love and Friendship at the same time that doesn't mean that they are synonyms. They both are two different terms. For every individual, its meaning is different but for me they both requires faith, believe and trust. There is a very thin lne between love and friendship, which needs to be maintained strictly.

Sometimes loosing a love is easy to deal rather loosing your friends. For Love you think from your heart, you care from your heat and you make emotional mistakes from heart, and you don't think....I think that is the reason why it is said so that LOVE IS BLIND and it will surely turn you deaf and dumb....For friendship you think from your heart and you take decisions from your mind keeping in mind the emotional status of your heart....So if you loose a friend it is hard to forget on the other hand loosing a lover is just an emotional imbalance one goes through. n this, there is another category of people who are called FRIENDLY LOVERS who at initial stage are friends, then lover and at last you tend to loose your friend as well as your lover. So it is wise to make certain boundaries or limitations in your heart and mind on who is who..... whether he/she is your friend or your lover?

"Love is a sweetest feeling n anyone's life friendship make every feeling sweet... but never destroy your friendship because of your love" --- Quoted by a friend

"Love is unconditional and friendship never minds conditions"---Quoted by a friend

Practicality Wins All Stakes

Again after an investing a hell lot of time on thinking and talking around people about this potential conversation and applying practicality into life and I have given up on love now.....yeah it will sound a bit awkward.. but trust me in my 20 years of life I have so many instances and experiences which tells me if I would have been a practical person i would'nt have gone through that "emotional attayachar".... take life easily calmly and peacefully it will treat you that way... u treat it quick and instant it will give u instant and quick reaction which becomes a little difficult to grasp it.....so take it slow and steady..... where the love matter is concerned... the picture about love in my mind has changed.... love is more likely to be a habit or need or being together or liking each others company..... till the time you don't show your emotional side to anyone its fine they will say ... "Hey u r fun to be with"... once you start relying on them u start sharing your feelings with them they are bound towards you to always give you a shoulder to cry on.... then the biggest issues of break up comes up EXPECTATION and believe me once this term has entered into your relationship you are screwed....Being Friends initially is nice... fun.. but again a habit of it tends you or the other person to fall.... but that does'nt mean that you have to say LOVE U... you can manage with that I like spending time with u..... So give it a practical thought and also don't serve your emotions in a tray to somebody who does'nt even care about it..... take a wise decision a practical one and then take a step ahead.... Why after love people think of spending lie together? I always wonder...... god has made so many beautiful people around and you and just want to stick to one...... appreciate beauty and think and live practically trust me life will be easy as well as easy to deal with... LOVE....

I m thinking since then, is it really related.....

After my first past regression session.... I am thinking more... more on who was the person I saw in those visions.... I could feel that he is the one, who is present in my current life.... and i can really feel that he is around..... but if i get a little practical, i was waiting for that guy whole my life and cause he was married in his past he will never accept me.... so have to go on all alone and have to learn and accept things as it comes my way.... he was there to care, or to pretend to care....i am not even sure of that... Feelings from other people like my family shared and have the same warmth for me... maybe the feelings i had for that person.. he never had anything for me.... and i was just fooling around myself in a hope to see him back... i was in pain, he wasn't there and if you love somebody care automatically shows that is not something technical that u have to wait for.... i m just acting crazy now... i feel all these past life thing is just my way to blame my past life for my present life, just because i have done mistakes in my present life rather than accepting it i m just being to modest and finding someone to blame....

I m not a great relationship builder or i don't know how to deal with such situation when somebody cares about you and you tend to avoid that person and you show care to that person who avoids you, that's human tendency..... people who will read it and who know me well will say Jigyasa is flirty, but I am not thats just my style of conveying and expressing my feelings to people... i don't know how can people get practical and professional when it comes to love ..... love is in itself so expressive... u gotta feel it, not just by saying I LOVE U on professional basis makes u feel that u r in love... Stop fooling around yourself.. first ask urself..... do you really love that person or u like him and u just want to be with him.... there is a hell lot of difference between LOVE, LIKE, BEING WITH..... Love is a feeling which one can discover by it touch and cuddleness, Like is something u think about that person in a certain manner and Being with means you like his company or it might include physical experience....

So i think rather than just saying around to people that i love him u should first ask urself.... do u really love him that you can wait for him till eternity.....

Past Regression Session

Who was I?

An actress, a dancer or a person who was a social animal..... I think everybody in their lifetime thinks what were they in their past life? But somehow today they are so busy that they can't actually recall and do not have that spare time to think about such stuff.... One of my friend is a Tarot card reader and an astrologer.... we have been friends or a long time... he understand me as that is his work to do so.....I was easily convinced that the problems you face today in your present life have some or the other connection with your past life and that is why our inner conscious knows that where are we wrong but we all tend to avoid it.... as my name suggest Jigyasa -Curiosity... I always wanted to know what was i actually in my past life and then I will be able to understand why LOVE IS UPSET with me....Is that just my misconception or it is really related to my past life....

SESSION 1:

Late night around 1 in the darkest hour of the night.... a gal looking for answers, with a confused mind, asking god and herself WHY ME? That was me still not clear, but wanted to peep into my past life and see what exactly happened over there..... Once i start writing what experience i had let me warn u all it will sound stupid and crazy... but that how it was...... first vision..... i was lying on a bed weeping myself out....i was wearing a red colored saree in a bengali style with full on jewellery.... i was crying, weeping so loud that in that big house nobody was there to listen or help out.... .... I was into my past life, i can be so sure because while being in my subconscious i was crying...... who did it?? what was the reason i was crying for? all these questions were going on in my subconscious mind.... it was a man in my past life who had my heart and it was my birthday.....that feeling which i had was bad, that how can that happen to me.... but it did happened... i had an arrange marriage... he was a young, royal, strong, charismatic, long hair, mustache and a mole and a self made person.. i respected him.. i loved him... and adding to this he was womenizer, that i came to know after 3 years of my marriage and when i was not able to keep him happy... and for me i was me... i had big bright eyes... full of kajal and dreams that someday my prince will come and take me away from all these sorrows of my life... before i got married.. i had the same family which i have right now... and even after 5 years of marriage i had no kids and was all alone in my big Havelli.....that night i decided to run away i was in love with my best friend because he used to care about me in such a manner which i expected my husband to do so... he was there that night... laughing and giggling and try to peep inside that door in where my dreams were shattered and i was all alone.....i can relate that guy from my present life.... he was married in his past life... we never had a conversation as such but it all was the eyes job... i dnt know why i used to look at him with so much of love and respect and wanted him to care about me that way.... he felt too for i can... i can easily feel that by his touch, the warmth in his eyes... the love..... i used to write poems for him... but was never able to pass on to him.... sounds crazy!!!.... having a husband whom i loved so much and writing letters to my best friends sounds as crazy as i was thinking after i came out of my first session..... my eyes were heavy... my head was paining... i was again and again thinking about it....i was feeling the volcano of feelings were there was betrayal, love, care, waiting for someone, feeling happy for someone and felt that what were the reason i was alive.... my hands were shaky....i was speechless just crying my heart out and no one was there....